Face to Face Read online

  FACE TO FACE

  Ariana Gaynor

  Erotic Romance

  Secret Cravings Publishing

  www.secretcravingspublishing.com

  ABOUT THE E-BOOK YOU HAVE PURCHASED: Your non-refundable purchase of this e-book allows you to only ONE LEGAL copy for your own personal reading on your own personal computer or device. You do not have resell or distribution rights without the prior written permission of both the publisher and the copyright owner of this book. This book cannot be copied in any format, sold, or otherwise transferred from your computer to another through upload to a file sharing peer to peer program, for free or for a fee, or as a prize in any contest. Such action is illegal and in violation of the U.S. Copyright Law. Distribution of this e-book, in whole or in part, online, offline, in print or in any way or any other method currently known or yet to be invented, is forbidden. If you do not want this book anymore, you must delete it from your computer.

  WARNING: The unauthorized reproduction or distribution of this copyrighted work is illegal. Criminal copyright infringement, including infringement without monetary gain, is investigated by the FBI and is punishable by up to 5 years in federal prison and a fine of $250,000.

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  A Secret Cravings Publishing Book

  Erotic Romance

  Face to Face

  Copyright © 2014 Ariana Gaynor

  E-book ISBN: 978-1-63105-219-4

  First E-book Publication: May 2014

  Cover design by Dawné Dominique

  Edited by Sue Toth

  Proofread by Courtney Karmiller

  All cover art and logo copyright © 2014 by Secret Cravings Publishing

  ALL RIGHTS RESERVED: This literary work may not be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, including electronic or photographic reproduction, in whole or in part, without express written permission.

  All characters and events in this book are fictitious. Any resemblance to actual persons living or dead is strictly coincidental.

  PUBLISHER

  Secret Cravings Publishing

  www.secretcravingspublishing.com

  Dedication

  This story is dedicated to all my online friends and family who told me I could do it.

  You know who you are.

  The Cravings Ebook Club

  The Cravings Paranormal Ebook Club

  Have you heard about the newest idea in ebooks, the ebook club? Secret Cravings Publishing has two ebook clubs, The Cravings Ebook Club or the Cravings Paranormal Ebook Club, and we invite you to become a member.

  As a new member, you will receive Trouble With a Cowboy* by Sandy Sullivan and Blood Kisses** by H.N. Sieverding FREE, just for joining!

  You’ll also receive 4 BRAND-NEW EBOOKS, specially selected by our Editorial Director, every month in a variety of genres for a total price of only $9.99 for all 4. This comes out to barely $2.50 per book, much less than the retail price and you’ll be able to enjoy your books even before they are uploaded to the popular sales sites. One of several privileges of club membership.

  *Trouble With a Cowboy, a western, erotic romance:

  18 wheels had her heart until one hard-up cowboy found her kickin' up her heels and propositions her to take his bull to Vegas.

  Jacie Hawkins drives big wheelers for a livin'. Something not a lot of women do. Littleton Oklahoma is just a dry stopover for a few hours of rest and relaxation at the nearest bar. Jacie needs to find a hot cowboy to release some of her pent up frustrations on for the night, but wannabe's aren't her style.

  Tucker Marshall needs a big-rig driver to haul his prize bull to National Finals Rodeo and he needs one fast. Who would have thought he'd find one shootin' pool at the local bar dressed to kill and takin' numbers?

  Can some slashed tires and an ornery bull bring two hard-headed people together for some fun in the sun and a little more?

  **Blood Kisses (Nightwalkers 1), paranormal erotic romance:

  Ashleigh Brown, the author of the popular Nightwalkers series, lives a quiet life free of the limelight. She keeps her real identity secret by writing under the pen name, Victoria Allure. She soon finds herself in a bind when she's kidnapped by a group of handsome vampires seeking Victoria. She then agrees to meet their Master, who's a huge fan of her books. But instead of meeting him, she accidentally crosses paths with her rock star crush. He is the sexy muse behind Nightwalkers and the man she based the hero in the series upon. She would do anything to meet him but little does she know her crush has a secret...

  We will try to match your books to your preferences, however, if you’re a major paranormal fan, we suggest you join the Cravings Paranormal Club. Everything is the same except that three of your four books will be paranormal. The remaining book will be of a different genre.

  As a club member, you will also receive:

  · our monthly newsletter

  · sneak previews of new books

  · exclusive interviews with your favorite authors

  · special offers not available to the general public

  To join, visit the Secret Cravings Publishing website. At the bottom of the page you’ll see a button for the club. You can sign up there and share your preferences for genre, format and heat level with us. You will be charged, automatically, through PayPal, only $9.99 every month. Your books will be shipped within 1 day after PayPal payment has cleared. You may cancel at any time by clicking on the “unsubscribe” button located on the Cravings Club tab at the bottom of our website and keep the FREE BOOKS as our gift.

  We hope our Secret Cravings books will delight you each and every month.

  Best wishes,

  Beth Walker

  FACE-TO-FACE

  Ariana Gaynor

  Copyright © 2014

  Prologue

  How does a person fall in love with someone they’ve never met? How can someone you’ve only talked to through instant messages, text messages, and phone calls come to mean so much to you? How is it that someone can turn out to be so special that you can’t go a day without talking to him or her in some form or another?

  Is it even love or is it really an obsession with the unknown? What if the need to meet this person supersedes every worry or ‘what if’ of a face-to-face meeting? Does not caring about the outcome make it more like love than an obsession, or does it make it an obsession for certain? Is it just the need to see and feel the other person to make sure they are real and not imagined in the part of your mind where all your deepest wishes lay hidden from view?

  The two of you have talked for so long about everything from beliefs to feelings, wants to needs. You’ve talked about things from your past that you’ve never fully shared with anyone. Does that constitute true feelings or just a sense of safety? Safety, because the object of your affection or obsession is thousands of miles away and not necessarily able to use what you say against you or spill the proverbial beans to family members or friends?

  Is it just the illusion of better things? Things that you can’t seem to find in your life at that moment in time. That phrase “the grass isn’t always greener on the other side” comes to mind. However, if you don’t explore the other side how will you know if it’s greener or not? How will you know if you’re missing that one true love everyone hopes to find?

  Chapter One

  “We’ve known each other for around three years, right?” Jess twisted her headset wire around her fingers as she watched Ash during their video chat. His hair had grown. The dirty-blond tresses hung to his shoulder blades now. After three or so years of watching him through a computer screen, she longed to see if the strands were as silky as
they looked.

  “Yeah, but I think we’ve been talking more like four.” He chuckled, winking at his camera.

  His laugh could curl her toes. He obviously had no idea of the power he held…or did he?

  She grinned. “Anyway, don’t you think it’s time I came out there so we can meet in person?”

  Her computer screen turned black where, moments before, Ash’s face had filled the screen.

  They’d talked every day about everything for the past four years. She certainly hadn’t expect him to disappear when she asked him to meet her in person. The stunned expression on her face, reflected in the blank computer monitor screen, said it all.

  Steven Ashton James came into her life at a very dark time. Freshly divorced from a controlling man and learning to live alone again wasn’t exactly fun, but Ash had made the whole thing bearable, even had her laughing at herself on her most depressing days. His out-of-date long hair—normally worn in a ponytail—and his bright blue eyes had her seeing life in a completely new light pretty fast.

  She jumped as her cell phone vibrated, and his ring tone broke the silence.

  Do I take the risk and answer? Or do I just let the phone ring and forget I ever asked? How much more rejection can I take?

  Unable to ignore the ringing any longer, she tapped the green phone icon, accepting the call.

  “Hello.”

  He wasted no time jumping right into the conversation. “Okay, so tell me. Why do you want to meet me?”

  “Because we’ve known each other long enough and I’d like to be able to say I have actually met you.”

  “But why? I’m just an old steelworker with nothing to offer anyone.”

  “Stop! You know I hate when you talk like that.”

  “Yes, I know, but it’s the truth, hon. I’ve worked my ass off all my life and the only things I have to show for it are three ex-wives, who all bled me dry when they were done with me.”

  “I don’t care about any of that, and you damn well know it. I want to be clear here. I love you, love who you are, not what you are or what you have or don’t have.”

  There was a heavy silence on the line. The only sound was a soft buzz from her phone. Had her phone dropped the call? Is he going to tell me not to come? I knew it was too good to be true. I shouldn’t have pushed, but telling him how I feel is nothing I haven’t said a dozen times before.

  “Ash?” She quietly waited for any sign he was still there.

  “I’m here.”

  “Okay, wasn’t sure if the call dropped or something else happened. If I’ve pushed, I’m sorry, but this is something I need to know.”

  “I can’t believe you’d take a chance on a relationship with me when we live eighteen hundred miles apart.”

  “Why? For as long as we’ve known each other, with all the things we’ve talked about, why wouldn’t you believe I’d feel we should take this step? And who is saying I’ll always be eighteen hundred miles away? Neither of us is getting any younger. Frankly, I’m tired of not being truly happy, and I think we can do that for each other. Because you know what you want and have values. There is no one I have more in common with than you, unless you’ve been feeding me lines for the past several years.”

  “No, I’ve never given you anything but the straight truth. I can’t help thinking you’ll get here only to be disappointed.”

  “Whatever…if anyone is disappointed it will probably be you. I believe you think more of me than I deserve.” Her pen glided effortlessly over the page she nervously doodled on. The scribbling said—Stop pushing! Stop pushing! You’re practically begging. Stop! She had to get her emotions under control. She would not beg a man to have her. Never again would she give herself completely to a man. The pain would be too great when things went south if she didn’t keep part of herself hidden away.

  “Stop right now. You’re a beautiful woman who makes my heart smile at least twice a day. How can any man be disappointed in you?”

  “Well, I know a few.”

  “Yeah, well I know several women who will tell you I’m a big disappointment.”

  “They can say all they want. Other people’s opinions don’t mean a thing to me. Not my fault they didn’t know what they had.” She would get her point through to him one of these days. Just because other relationships didn’t work didn’t mean he was an awful person unworthy of love.

  “Woman, you sure are good for a man’s ego. But—”

  “You know what, never mind. There’s really no reason to fix something that isn’t broken. I get it. I have to go. I need to make some calls for work and get some plans drawn up.” She had to get off the phone. She’d made a big enough fool of herself for the day.

  “Uh…sure. Are you okay?”

  “I’m fine. I just need to get this stuff done and out of the way.”

  “Okay, talk to you soon.”

  “Bye, Ash.”

  Jess slid her thumb over the red phone icon, ending the conversation.

  Finding a place to live, getting settled, and adjusting to a new job would take up most of her time for a while anyway. No sense in muddying the waters with a relationship on top of the stress of a major life change.

  If she repeated everything enough, she’d eventually convince herself it was all for the best. His insecurities drove her crazy, but she completely understood. Trust didn’t come easy to someone like Ash. Being used by more than one partner wasn’t something easily forgotten.

  * * * *

  Ash started his day with a good morning text to Jess.

  Good morning, hon. ;-)

  They had only missed a few mornings in four years, but made up for it with a “good afternoon” on those days. She was too funny with her apologies for being late, but she probably found him funny with his apologies for forgetting his phone at home.

  He worried she wouldn’t return his “good morning” today. He’d possibly screwed up the best thing to happen to him in as long as he could remember. Meeting Jess Thomas had been a gift from above that he’d probably thrown away the day before. So unprepared for her offer to meet, he’d stumbled for things to say without revealing he was a coward and didn’t want her to realize the truth. It’s not like he didn’t want to hold her in his arms even for a day, but he couldn’t stand the idea of holding her for only a day or two. Letting her go would be harder on him than living with just the phone calls, video chats, and texting.

  The computer became his safety net. The invisible wall of the Internet kept things uncomplicated, kept him safe from his feelings of inadequacy. He hoped his fear didn’t push her out of his life. Even if they never met in person, he needed her, needed her in his life any way he could have her. God help me, I can’t lose her.

  His previous relationships had all been disasters. The women he’d fallen for had all used him for what he could give them. When he didn’t give them everything they wanted, they took all he had. The last marriage had almost taken more than he could recover from, financially or mentally.

  Jess had been the one to build him back up to almost the man he used to be. She was more than he expected when he had first messaged her on the social networking site they’d been a part of a few years ago.

  He was glad he took the chance and talked to her. She believed in many of the same principles and values he did and was one of the smartest women he’d ever had the pleasure to talk to.

  On the tail of his thought came the chime for his text notification. Would she send her normal good morning? Or would the message be from someone else entirely?

  Almost afraid to look, it took him a few seconds of staring at the screen before he picked up the phone.

  Good morning, darlin’… ;-)

  Relief flooded his body. At least she continued their morning ritual. He’d have to see if things were still the same between them.

  Are you mad at me?

  “Listen to yourself, you sound like a little kid who had a fight with a friend. Man up and apologize for being stupid, y
a jerk.” Saying the words aloud made his behavior during their last conversation even more embarrassing.

  His notification chime sounded again.

  Why would I be mad at you?

  He knew she was downplaying the mess he’d made of things. She always made an effort to help him feel better, even when he only seemed to screw everything up. God, what is my problem? She has always been there for me, always tells me the truth and not just what I think I need to hear.

  Because I acted the fool yesterday. You surprised me with the question about meeting. Had no idea how to make my mouth work. Sorry!

  She was the only one who understood. She knew the trouble with his past relationships and his difficulty in trusting people.

  Can I call?

  Why does she want to call? Could she be closing herself off from him, saying goodbye for good? He hoped he could salvage what they had.

  Sure.

  The phone rang immediately. She couldn’t have been waiting for an answer to her text. He didn’t care. She could call whenever she wanted or needed to.

  “Hi.”

  “Hi there, darlin’.”

  Her smooth whiskey tone soothed his nerves almost instantly. Only Jess called him darlin’ and that’s the way he preferred it.